When a Pastor Has an Affair With a Congregant: Clergy Sexual Misconduct and the Law

Start My Free Case Review Call (202) 934-2954

Free and confidential • No fee unless we recover • You decide whether to proceed

A sexual relationship between a pastor and someone in their congregation, especially someone they counsel, is often not an ordinary affair. The pastor holds spiritual authority and often knows the person’s private struggles, which makes real consent hard to judge. At least a dozen states make clergy sexual contact with a counselee a crime in some circumstances, and survivors may have civil claims against the pastor and the church.

Facts checked September 18, 2026. Sources are listed at the end of this page.

Why a pastor’s affair can be abuse

People usually turn to a pastor at vulnerable moments: grief, marriage problems, illness, addiction or a crisis of faith. A pastor who uses that trust and emotional dependence to start a sexual relationship is abusing their role, even if the other person is an adult and appeared to agree. Many denominations’ own ethics rules forbid it for this reason.

Criminal laws on clergy sexual misconduct

Texas treats it as sexual assault when a clergyman causes someone to submit to sex by exploiting their emotional dependency on him as a spiritual adviser. Minnesota makes sexual penetration or contact by clergy a crime when it happens during private spiritual advice or ongoing private spiritual counselling, and consent is not a defence.

Church Law & Tax, a publication for churches, reports that at least 12 states have clergy-specific laws of this kind. California considered one in 2024 (SB 894), but it was held in committee and did not pass.

Civil claims

A survivor may be able to sue the pastor and, where it knew or should have known of the risk, the church or denomination that employed and supervised them. Courts in some states have limited negligent supervision claims against churches on religious-freedom grounds, so the state matters.

Some states also have civil laws on sexual exploitation by therapists. Minnesota’s law counts clergy as psychotherapists when they perform psychotherapy. Texas’s civil law, by contrast, excludes religious, moral and spiritual counselling by clergy.

Clergy sexual misconduct laws: examples

State	Law	What it covers
Texas	Penal Code § 22.011	Sexual assault if a clergyman causes someone to submit by exploiting their emotional dependency on him as spiritual adviser
Minnesota	Statutes § 609.344	Sexual penetration by clergy during private spiritual advice or ongoing private spiritual counselling; consent is not a defence
Other states	Various	Church Law & Tax names Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, New Mexico, North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah and Wisconsin as also having clergy-specific laws, each with its own conditions
California	SB 894 (2024)	A bill to make clergy sexual exploitation of adults a crime was held in committee in April 2024 and did not pass

State Law Notice: Laws governing civil claims for religious institution abuse vary significantly by state. Filing deadlines, lookback windows, and available defendants differ depending on where the abuse occurred and your current state of residence. The information on this page is general in nature. It does not constitute legal advice and should not be relied upon without first speaking to a qualified attorney about your specific circumstances.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it illegal for a pastor to sleep with a congregant?

In some states, yes. Texas and Minnesota, among at least a dozen states, make it a crime in certain circumstances, usually when the sexual contact happens in a counselling or spiritual-advice relationship. In other states it is not a crime but may still be misconduct and support a civil claim.

Is a pastor having an affair with a church member abuse?

It can be. When a pastor uses spiritual authority or a counselling relationship to start a sexual relationship, the imbalance of power means it can be exploitation rather than an affair between equals.

Can I sue my pastor for a sexual relationship that started in counselling?

Possibly. Whether you have a claim depends on your state’s laws and the facts, including how the relationship began and what the church knew. A confidential legal review can tell you where you stand.

Can I sue the church if my pastor had a sexual relationship with me?

Sometimes. A church may be liable if it knew or should have known the pastor was a risk, for example because of earlier complaints, and failed to act. Some states limit these claims on religious-freedom grounds.

What should I do if a pastor is pursuing a sexual relationship with me?

Stop private meetings, keep messages and notes of what happened, and talk to someone outside the church you trust. You can also report the conduct to the denomination and, if a crime may have occurred, to the police.

Will my church find out if I contact a lawyer?

No. Contacting us is confidential, and nothing is shared with your church or anyone else without your permission.

See all frequently asked questions

Sources

Start a Free Case Review

Did a pastor use their position to start a sexual relationship with you?

Tell us briefly what happened. The legal team will review it and explain your options, with no cost and no obligation.

Free, confidential case review
No legal fees unless compensation is recovered
Share only what you are comfortable with
Filing deadlines apply, so check your options now

Prefer to talk? Call (202) 934-2954

What type of institution was involved?

Catholic Church / DioceseProtestant / Evangelical ChurchLDS / Mormon ChurchJehovah's WitnessesReligious SchoolChurch Camp / Youth MinistryOther Religious Institution